Apple are always telling us that there’s an app for everything, and do you know what, they’re not lying.
So when you hear the line “There’s an app for that” you’re probably thinking of the thousands of applications that help you do things like book restaurants, find out train times and even translate foreign languages. But alongside the thousands of useful programmes, our smartphones also play host to a rogue’s gallery of weird, wonderful and downright bizarre apps that have to be seen to be believed.
So from feline friendly photo editors to death calculators here’s our pick of the 12 weirdest apps around.
Death App
iPhone / Android – Free
The Death App tracks recent car accidents and murders in your area, plotting the deaths on a macabre map offering an ideal tool to help you avoid those life-threatening hotspots. Or, if you’re a goth, a nifty way to find new places to hang out.
‘I Am Rich’
iPhone – £599.99 (no longer available)
Originally released in 2008 this app cost a whopping $999.99. So what did you get for all that money? Absolutely nothing. Yes, the idea was that people would buy it just to show off how rich they were; which amazingly eight people did before Apple eventually pulled it.
My Vibe
iPhone – Free
MyVibe is pedalled by an online sex shop who had the bright idea to take advantage of the iPhone’s vibrating feature and put it to an altogether different use entirely – nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Hold On!
iPhone – Free
Possibly one of the most pointless apps available (and that’s saying something), the aim of the game in Hold On! is to hold down a virtual button for as long as possible. That’s it.
Blower
iPhone- £0.69
After being blown into a billion times by over enthusiastic gamers, the iPhone’s getting its own back with this madcap app which uses your speaker to blow out air. Designed for those of us who are simply too lazy to exhale, Blower isn’t strong enough to help you clear your driveway in Autumn, but it’s certainly got the lungs to help you blow out the candles on your average birthday cake.
Easy Metal Detector Lite
Android- Free (iPhone equivalents available)
Need to find a way to pay for your expensive smartphone? Then look no further, as this handy app will have you digging up buried treasure in no time. Easy Metal Detector is weird because it actually works. Apparently all smartphones have something called a magnetometer to enable their compass function, which this app (and it’s iPhone equivalents) hijack to turn your phone into a rudimentary metal detector.
Annoy A Teen!
iPhone / Android – £0.69
Next time you come across a particularly unsavoury bunch of hooded youths simply whip out your smartphone and select this app. Annoy A Teen! plays high frequency sounds that only young people and presumably dogs can hear. It’s more likely to annoy them rather than leave them convulsing on the floor clutching their ears though, which, come to think of it, might not be the best of ideas.
iNap@work
iPhone – £0.69
This app claims to generate a string of random office sounds such as mouse clicks, keyboard taps, paper rustling and the like, in order to provide you with cover should you ever decide to take a power nap at your desk. It’s a great idea until you realise it does nothing to disguise the fact that you’re slumped over your keyboard when you should be finishing the Frankfurt report.
CatPaint
iPhone – £0.69
CatPaint claims to be the premier, and presumably only, cat-based image editor for the iPhone. The app, which counts Taylor Swift and Katy Perry amongst its fans, enables you to effortlessly add any of its sixteen adorable kitties to your favourite photos. And you thought Photoshop was cool?
iPoo
iPhone – £0.69
iPoo is a social network that brings together toilet dwellers from around the world. The app lets you chat to your fellow defecators from the comfort of your own toilet and even earn badges for your exploits. It also lets you browse real time stats and even track the location of fellow pooers via GPS. Just be thankful Apple insisted the developer disable the photo function before they made it to the App Store.
HangTime
iPhone – £0.69
HangTime encourages smartphone owners to lob their valuable pieces of portable hardware as high into the air as they possibly can. But don’t worry it’s not reckless, it’s just so that you can use your phone’s accelerometer to measure how long you’re expensive piece of kit stayed airborne for and then compare your personal bests with other idiots/users.
iLickit
iPhone – £0.69 / £1.49
A game that asks you to mop up grandma’s cooking using your tongue, that’s pretty weird right? Seriously, they want you to physically lick your phone and the developers even claim to have developed a special ‘tongue optimised engine’ to enable you to do so. Just make sure you clean it first.